Intensity in 10 Cities One Being Forks, Washington
by hazeleyedhottie
Summary: set during Eclipse. Jacob carrys out his plan of telling Bella the truth, but it doesn't end up the way he planned. One-shot. Songfic to Intensity in Ten Cities by Chiodos.


_Hey guys! So this is a songfic for Twilight from Jacob's POV. I know- he's terrible for Bella and a jerk and such and such. But I like this song and I wanted to write a songfic about it because it's amazing and when I was thinking about it he kept coming to mind because it fits really well with him. So I hope you like it. If you don't- that's fine with me too. It's a little out of character for Bella, but I tried to keep her as close as she could be to what Stephanie Meyer has created her to be. HazelEyedHottie_

_Disclaimer: The song is NOT mine although it is amazing. _

**Intensity in Ten Cities by Chiodos**

It's a truth that I was once the sole person knowledgable of it. Not counting the pack of course, seeing as they know everything that goes on in my mind. But if I had my way they wouldn't know about it. It would just be me and her who knew.

And in a perfect world she would've accepted it better than she did. I told her only yesterday- I haven't talked to her since. I'm waiting for her to call. I think it'd be best that way. She practically had a heart attack when I said it. But that doesn't mean it's not true! The stupid leech poisoned her against me! Even if it was done unintentionally- he still did it. Now I can't be with her and she won't accept that she loves me too.

Everything's a mess now. That's what I get for telling the truth and trying to be happy. But I guess it doesn't matter. I guess I'm just going to have to give up trying to make myself happy. It just doesn't seem to work. I can't leave the mess I've made like this though- it's just not right.

She can't understand that she loves me too, so the only thing I really can do is withdraw from the fight. There's no use staying in if she's blind to the truth. I have to talk to her. I have to let her know that he's the better man for her. It might be a lie, but she'll accept that and then I can leave with whatever dignity I can manage. I could tell her that he can protect her constantly whereas I'll always be a risk to her. No matter how much control I think I have- there's always more risk. The phone rang suddenly in my hand as soon as i picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Jacob, I have to talk to you." a soft voice said on the other side of the line. Well, speak of the devil...

"What's up, Bella?"

"Jacob, I've been thinking about what you said. I don't know how it's possible, or how it started, but I do love both you and Edward. And I'm so confused about all of this because there's no way I could choose between the two of you. You both mean too much to me and I don't want to let either of you go."

I sighed. I had to tell her to choose him. I'd always be here, just in the background. I had to bow out gracefully.

"Bella, I'm not the one that you want. Honestly, I'd let you down. I could never live up to your expectations- you'll only be happy if they're all fulfilled. And he's the only one who can do that."

_I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.  
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.  
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for my...'_

_I think it's every time I walk into a room  
a silence so sudden that I seem to hear it  
Contact saying that you are the rain on their parade._

Silence.

"Bella, are you still there?"

"But...but...just earlier you were telling me that you loved me and even though I didn't realize it I loved you too. And I thought about it and I do love you, Jacob. And now you're telling me that you don't really love me?" a pained voice rushed out all in one breath. There was no easy way to answer her.

"It's not that I don't love you, but I'm not the one that's the best for you. You shouldn't love me and I shouldn't love you. It's not meant to be."

"You said 'love'. You can't take it back just like that. It's not a word to be tossed around lightly. It's not fair."

"You should forget that I said that, Bella. You don't really love me like that. I was just trying to convince you that you did so you would think you did then you would end up learning to love me like that. But you don't. You love me like a brother or something. You know?"

_And how long could you hang on to a word?  
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?_

I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.  
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.  
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'

Or maybe it's all eyes on him  
in love with ego and intention  
the eyes that are just begging me for more.  
This is gone and I can see it  
your head is full of words,  
full of words that don't mean anything.

"No, Jacob. I can't go back to that now. But I can't go forward with how I feel now apparently. I don't think I'm going to be able to talk to you again, Jacob. It was already hard, but now this? I just won't be able to do it."

Ouch. I hadn't been expecting that one. I thought she'd be grateful to go back to what we used to be- to just be friends again and not have any of this to deal with. To just forget it and move on with life. I guess I screwed that one up pretty good.

_And how long could you hang on to a word?  
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?_

I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.  
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.  
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'

I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.  
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.

"If you really feel that way I guess I'll just have to accept it. I wish it could be different, but I guess I can't change the way you feel about this. Goodbye."

The phone clicked. It was like I'd tried to paint a masterpiece with the color white on top of a blank canvas. Started with nothing...and ended with it. It was over...and it was all my fault...

_And you can say that I'm just feeling sorry for myself..._

_Hey guys! I know it's quite depressing and kind of out of character, but I hope you liked it. Please review! HazelEyedHottie_


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